At some point in a marriage, a couple might feel that the romance they once had at the beginning of the relationship has slipped away. Unfortunately, this is often the catalyst for the beginning of major problems in their marriage. Sometimes, in an attempt to recreate the romance that he or she once experienced before, one partner starts looking elsewhere and ends up cheating on his/her spouse. Before you get to that stage, don’t ignore the warning signs and be aware that, no matter how long you’ve been together nor how long intimacy has been absent in your marriage, there are many ways to bring the romance back in your marriage.
Below are the top 3 key ingredients to get the romance back in your marriage:
1) Make time for a special “romantic date” at least once a month.
If that seems too often, just remember that this is only twelve days in an entire year; this represents a very small investment to reignite the love in your marriage. So plan a special “romantic date” for just the two of you where you can do things that you both enjoy. It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to be romantic. It could either be scheduled during the day or at night. Here are some examples of what you can do on your date:
- Plan a night of pampering each other at home. Have a candlelight dinner, or massage each other in the bathtub. Make it a night that is all about the two of you.
- Go out for a picnic and enjoy a lazy but relaxing day where you can discuss subjects close to your heart, whilst sipping a glass of wine.
- This may sound ordinary, but spice up your date night by dressing up, giving each other small token presents and then visiting one of your favorite restaurants.
There are plenty of things you can do on your romance date. Be creative and make sure your planned activity will appeal to the both of you.
2) Pay attention to your spouse and listen to what he or she has to say
As a married couple, you must be sensitive to each other’s words and actions. If your wife tells you that she is overwhelmed by the amount of daily housework, simply nodding your head in agreement won’t make her happy. What she is actually saying is that she is getting tired of doing so many house chores by herself. If you wish to be an attentive and caring husband, instead, you should offer to help her with the housework. This attitude to marriage is a two-way street. Similarly, if your different sex positions husband comes back home tired from a stressful and long day at work, allow him to unwind in peace and occasionally offer to give a soothing massage. Paying attention to each other’s needs is not just romantic; it also helps to make you more desirable to your spouse.
3. The little things become big things in a marriage
Saying “I love you” should not be seen as corny. It is a verbal expression of how you feel about your spouse and you shouldn’t feel too shy to say these three words. But showing love is more than saying it; demonstrating love is even more powerful. A kiss in the morning before you go to work and a warm hug at the end of a busy day help to keep the two of you connected. Simple things like holding hands or cuddling on the sofa after eating diner are really tiny little sparks that keep the romance in your marriage alive.